I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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