I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
