there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
