i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize