I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
