hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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