We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
