Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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