You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
pop tarts are not kleenex
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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