ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I intend to get homeless drunk
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
