I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
