12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love having hate sex.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
