She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
