You're completely useless in the revolution.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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