6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize