I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
