if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
