does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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