We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
