Will you blow on my dice?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm just crazy horny about you
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
