I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
