Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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