And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
