thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
