question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I love having hate sex.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
