You don't have asthma, your pregnant
okay pat passed out under dana's car
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
