my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
