I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
