I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
