dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Im part way to drunk.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
