Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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