the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize