Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
