She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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