What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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