jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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