I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And then he peed in my hair
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
