Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize