We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
