420 ftw
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
