remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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