it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
