soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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