I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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