The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
