So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
