There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
