Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize