i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
