i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
