yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I lost the right to judge tonight
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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