i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i think my cat just said my name.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
