i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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