I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
