I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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