I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
