"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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