Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
