The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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