i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
