Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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