that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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