Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
