Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
