I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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