Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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