haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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