Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
