Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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