Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
