Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
