these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
