im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
